The Tom Hanks Coronavirus Chaos Cut-Ups Part 4

Stardate: Around Easter Sunday 2020

…..there’s been a lot of realities flying around in the last couple of weeks.

Alf turned up a week last Friday.

“This is it!” He told me.

It’s Happening This Weekend

“It’s happening this weekend. They are going to go for the pedos first. There’s a whole load of Dems involved in this cult and they’ve got an underground city where they’re breeding babies for Satanic Sacrifice. They’ve got to go for those perverts first.

A Classic Study in Confirmation Bias

“They won’t waste time. Once they’ve got the pedos they’ll be arresting the rest of them for treason. Obama. Clinton. The Rothschilds, well I think it’s the Rothschilds, and those other ones, what’s their name?”

I put a bit of lazy thought in and suggested perhaps it was the Rockerfellers.

“That’s them,” said Alf.

“Hasn’t Trump been friends with some Rockerfellers,” I enquired

“In the old days maybe,” Alf ventured, “but only the good ones and now even their time is up.

“And then Trump is taking over the Fed and returning the economy to the gold standard.”

“What do you think of 5G?” Alf queried

“I’m sure it has nothing to do with Coronavirus. I think the clue is in the name, it’s a virus.”

“Hmmphh,” Alf grunted, clearly unhappy with my reply. “Everyone has been getting ill since they started putting the 5G masts in.”

That’ll Show Me

I viewed the 5G conspiracy as a side order to the main menu and pretty low in the current conspiracy pecking order, that was until a few days later when news came in that multiple 5G masts had been attacked and destroyed. Take that China, Britons are destroying their own communications infrastructure due to wild claims initially made by a Belgian Professor, based on absolutely no evidence at all! That’ll show you. And also mean extra orders for replacements, one assumes.

The haze had started to lift from the initial phase of lockdown. The shops were stocked, toilet paper was back on the shelves and the alcohol was starting to wear off.

I waited through the weekend. I trawled the news and skimmed the agregators. No reports of undeground cities breeding child sex slaves for card carrying democrats and loosely affiliated satanic liberals surfaced. They didn’t come for Obama, the Clintons, the Rothschilds or the Rockerfellers.

Taking Over the Federal Reserve

Trump didn’t take over the Federal Reserve and re-introduce the gold standard. The fed did however pass a bill that allows them to pump up to $454 billion to private companies without any oversight whatsoever. So they’ve kind of consilidated and increased power, rather than being taken over by Trump.

I waited until Easter weekend just to be sure. I’d been in touch with Alf in the week to ask why they didn’t find the underground city producing child sex slaves. He evaded the question and told me that the “invisible enemy” that Trump had been talking about in his press briefings wasn’t in fact Coronavirus, it was the satanic democrats that Trump had to speak about in code. He told me that the “big decision” Trump had said he had to make on reopening the economy was actually the opening salvo of the hard strike against the libs.

The Big Strike’s Moved Back

“So they’ve moved the big strike back a weekend to Easter?” I asked.

“Well, he wasn’t expecting this to have happened. No one could have expected this.”

“He was told in February that lack of action on Coronavirus could cause at least a million US deaths, Alf.”

“Witch hunt,” replied Alf.

“Alf, you know the way these right wing conspiracy nuts work is the same way that a lot of these so called psychics work on the entertainment circuit. They throw out a load of broad claims by the bucketload and when one lands even remotely in the ball park, they milk it for all they can, hoping you’ll forget the other hundred predictions that dissapeared into the abyss. How about Tom Hanks?”

“MAGA!” Alf replied.

Alf lives in England, in the leafy green countryside of Oxfordshire…..you couldn’t make this up…..



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