….Alf had been on the phone early in the weekend.
“It’s all a hoax mate, it’s no worse than the flu. All you need is a mask and a pair of gloves and you’re safe to go out and back to work.”
The call was later followed by a text:-
“They are coming for George Soros, They are coming for the Clintons, it’s happening. Trump has called up over one million light reservists.”
Hmm…I was guessing they were probably called up to help out in the logistics of delivering health equipment, health care and related services during the pandemic but there is always a worry in a situation such as this that other affairs may be afoot. Whoever you thought was making the power grab depended on how scared you were by a number of factors.
A day or two before, other affairs were afoot, but this time at the studios of infowars somewhere in a carbuncle in Downtown Austin, Texas, where Alex Jones was beaming an interview with anti-lizard campaigner, David Icke. As the Icke cosmic mystery unfolded, Jones managed to stay quiet. sometimes on semi-lengthy occasions, perhaps because Icke was casually managing to scare the shit out of Jones audience so well. Jones became voluntarily redundant until the adsell, which he’d primed real tasty for pandemic panic, martial law fans and parasite hosts. As Icke drummed up the fear to the max, Jones used emotional keywords to bypass the rational filter to channel the ghost of Tangy Tangerine (Around about the same time Google Play removed the infowars app from the Google Play Store. Ho hum…..)
Petty aspring keyboard tyrants cluterfucked in corners, consuming fragmented dark globules of fear, hate and cum, dripping from their guru’s over-stuffed wallet.
Then my friend Sally rang. She was fucked off. “If they think they can put me on litterpicking, they can fuck off!”
Realities come and realities go. There are a lot of realities floating around out there. In 1987, Conservative UK Prime Minister Margaret Thtacher proclaimed, “There is no such thing as society.” In 2020, Conservative Prime Minister Boris Johnson declared, “ There really is such a thing as society.” The irony being, of course, that BJ pronounced this while in isolation from society after contracting the first stages of Coronavirus. After the delerium, the hallucinations set in.
Life can be a cruel zen master.
Or perhaps, not washing your hands properly can be a cruel zen master. As one after another of Boris Johnson’s cabinet was struck down with Novel Coronavirus, the suspicion had to be, that top echelons of UK Government had not been heeding it’s own advice to wash hands for twenty seconds whilst singing happy birthday twice frequently, as they were far too clever not to take the social distancing advice seriously.
They had underestimated the risks of not singing happy birthday to themselves.
Time moves fast in a fast moving situation. I could have sworn it’s only a few cans of session strength cider ago that I caught Trump on TV during a White House briefing saying that America was going back to work by Easter and the churches would be packed…..(stay tuned for episode 3 of The Tom Hanks Coronavirus Chaos Cut-Ups)